


Kumiko

by partypaprika



Category: Gokusen - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:10:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2156910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partypaprika/pseuds/partypaprika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The two of them end up crouched against a wall, the peeling paint flaking on their jackets and Shin is sure that there will be dirt all over his pants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kumiko

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost from livejournal from a million years ago (approx.), plus a few minor edits. Loosely follows manga canon.

There are moments when the feeling of futility overtakes her—when all she can hear in her ears is _failure failure you’re a failure your life is a failure failure_. She closes her eyes and clenches her fists and just prays the moment passes.

 

* * *

 

When Kumiko turned eight _it was a big year, she was a whole year older_ Kyou threw a party for her. He didn’t have much to go on—her birthday was barely a month after her parents’ death and Kumiko rarely spoke unless spoken to. She never smiled.

Kyou threw the best party that an eight year old could hope to have. There were sweets, ice cream and even a cake. Someone made balloon animals, another made paper hats. While everyone from Kumiko’s class ran around, screaming and chasing each other, Kumiko sat on one of the park benches and watched everyone. When Kyou went to cut Kumiko’s cake, she took the chance to run, ducking into the cool green of the trees.

Kumiko remembers running until she couldn’t breathe and the tears wouldn’t stay back any longer. She took refuge behind the largest tree that she could find and curled up against the roots. The thick bark bit through her pants but Kumiko barely felt the sting as she desperately tried to hide her face.

Eventually she felt someone settle down next to her, a large warm weight against her left side. Kumiko immediately ruled out Kyou-san—it was too much solid weight to be Kyou-san—it might have been Tanaka-san, but she was certain that he had been sent out on errands that day.

When she finally looked up to see her grandfather sitting next to her, calmly eating a piece of her birthday cake, Kumiko immediately stopped crying. It wouldn’t do for her to cry in front of someone so important.

“Kumiko, would you like some cake?” He asked. She shook her head. “I see.” He slowly ate a few more bites while examining Kumiko. When he finished, he reached for her. Kumiko remembers the grass against her feet, the bark against her legs, but most of all, the one thing she hadn’t felt in a month—someone hugging her close, _it’ll be ok, you have us_ echoing around her shoulders.

 

* * *

 

Kumiko’s met guys like Sawada Shin before. She knows what they’re like—they waste their potential because they’re too lazy. There’s no point for someone like Sawada to try because he already knows it all. Guys like Sawada feel justified in using those around him because he knows that he’s better than them.

When Sawada calls her out, using the class as bait, she feels steely anger fill every centimeter of her body. Every millimeter, every micrometer, every last nanometer. It’s not what’s on the outside that counts, it’s what is on the inside. Kumiko can see Sawada’s inner self as surely as if he had written it on a piece of paper—he’s self-centered and arrogant. He’s so assured of his own self-worth that he feels justified in starting a fight for no good reason. But even with anger burning her fingers, Kumiko doesn’t think _What a waste_ or _This kid needs to be taught a lesson_ or even _I’m going to regret making this kid thinking he could pick a fight with me_.

Instead she thinks _I hope that I can teach him to be a true leader_.

 

* * *

 

Sometimes Kumiko can remember her mother. She had quick, soft fingers that wiped away the dirt on Kumiko’s face before Kumiko’s mother brought Kumiko in for a hug. There was a certain smell that her mother had—it was distinctive but Kumiko’s never been able to articulate it.

Sometimes she walks down a street and a whiff of it hits her so hard that she can’t breathe for a moment. She looks around but the smell is always gone. Kumiko breaths deeply as the last of the scent fades away into the air, before smiling and continuing on her way.

 

* * *

 

Kumiko doesn’t pick favorites, obviously, because that would be wrong and she loves all of her students as if they were her own children. But sometimes, on her walks home from school, she thinks about how great her students are, wonders what their lives will be like in ten or twenty years, and as she watches leaves fall from trees, she half thinks _Sawada Shin is destined for great things_.

 

* * *

 

It starts on a rainy Sunday at the end of March. It’s cold outside, so much so that when Tetsu comes back from picking up extra groceries he stands for a minute in the entrance, just enjoying the warmth before taking off his shoes and entering the house.

Kumiko’s been awake for hours, a niggling feeling in the back of her mind.

Tetsu comes into the room and sees Kumiko sitting at the table. “Ojou!” He says. “I didn’t think you were up this early.”

Kumiko just smiles and says “It’s never too early for a teacher to start preparing for her students’ wonderful week!” Tetsu grunts ‘yes’ and nods seriously before heading for the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

Kumiko returns her attention to her paper and goes over what she’s already written. There’s a circle—the inside shaded in, _math test on Friday_ underlined twice, and little baseball bats covering the bottom right corner. She underlines math test one more time and stands up. She walks towards the front door, heads a cheerful “I’m going out for a bit” in Tetsu’s direction, and grabs an umbrella.

She’s not sure what she’s looking for, so she heads over to the market near her house. Kumiko might not be sure what’s bothering her, but she’s confident that she’ll feel a little better after walking through the market. The market is all but empty and she’s caught in a seller ambush after they spot her. Kumiko waves off the enthusiastic men and women and just strolls along, smiling to the sellers and checking out their wares.

It isn’t until she’s passed the last of the stalls that she sees Sawada walking towards the combini on the next street over.

“Sawada!” She calls, her hair flying behind her as she jogs across the street. Shin’s stopped completely, his body still except for his eyes. Kumiko could swear that he looked surprised before he lapses back into his usual I-don’t-give-a-shit demeanor.

“Oi, Yankumi,” he starts. “What are you doing here?”

Kumiko just ignores his question. “Wow! What a great morning! I get to see one of my incredible students. You weren’t going to get breakfast in there, were you?” She doesn’t even wait for a reply, just breezes next to Shin, grabbing his arm and steering him towards the market.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” She proclaims. “Healthy eating leads to healthy, youthful bodies!” She’s about to explain why it’s important to eat right when she spots a stall selling takoyaki. It’s impossible to resist such good looking treats, so despite Sawada’s protesting, she buys two orders of takoyaki and goes to find a place out of the drizzle.

The two of them end up crouched against a wall, the peeling paint flaking on their jackets and Shin is sure that there will be dirt all over his pants. Kumiko eats her takoyaki quickly and when she finishes, she makes a happy, _this is so delicious_ sound.

Shin tries not to laugh and keeps on monosyllabically answering Kumiko’s questions about his weekend.

“How was your weekend?”

“Ok.”

“Did you do anything fun?”

“I guess.”

“Did you see any movies this weekend?” When Shin answers no this time, Kumiko uses the opportunity to talk about how much she enjoyed the latest Hollywood gangster film. Shin just laughs and says he doesn’t understand how she can like such films. She looks at him, an archness in her eyes, and says “Fine, what kind of films do you like?” And Shin ends up talking about how he really enjoyed a recent samurai film, but that he honestly prefers reading to movies.

Kumiko asks another question, and to her delight, Sawada Shin actually starts talking. It’s not a one word answer, or something questioning her crazy actions, instead, he’s talking about himself. And in that moment, something finally lets loose within herself. She’s not sure what it is, but she can’t help smiling.

After a minute, Shin looks at her suspiciously and asks her what’s going on. Kumiko just shakes her head, and Shin rolls his eyes. “I bet you want the rest of this,” and gestures towards his remaining takoyaki. Well, Kumiko wouldn’t mind it, per se…..

Shin pushes the tray into her lap and Kumiko quickly finishes the rest. But, while she eats, she can’t help but notice the way a smile makes its way onto Shin’s face even as he rolls his eyes again.

 

* * *

 

Sometimes Kumiko likes to think about what her life would be like if she married Shinohara. She imagines them holding hands and laughing on the way to the store. She thinks about them going out for dinner and Shinohara whispering how much he loved her in her ear. She sees them taking their children to the park and Shinohara picking up their children and throwing them in the air.

Kumiko knows that Shinohara will make a great husband one day and she doesn’t understand why he won’t even think about how great of a wife she would be. But, despite Kumiko’s feelings for Shinohara, she can’t pretend that Shinohara sees her in any way other than his boss’ daughter.

 

* * *

 

When Shinohara firmly, deliberately, and finally tells her that he doesn’t feel the same way that she does, Kumiko’s first thought is that she’s going to throw up. She holds it in and exchanges the expected remarks with Shinohara.

\--Yes, I’m ok.

\--No, I completely understand.

\--We can still be friends, this doesn’t change our friendship.

\--I promise, I’m fine.

They both know that she’s lying, but there’s nothing else to be done, so Kumiko waits until he leaves and then runs, she runs and runs until she can’t run anymore and the tears can’t be held back. She’s not even aware of her soundings until she feels someone sit next to her.

There’s no sound, no voice, interrupting her thoughts, just the warmth of someone’s body against hers.

She cries until there’s no more tears. She wants to continue, wants some evidence of the way she can’t stop feeling. She stays folded upon herself, arms hidden in arms, legs squeezed together and just focuses on breathing. Each little breath is the smallest victory—an ant marching against the ocean—but a victory nonetheless.

Finally a voice speaks, “I’m sorry.” Shin says. “I really am sorry.”

Kumiko wants to pretend that she hasn’t heard but when the warmth pushes against her and asks “Do you want to get some ramen?” Kumiko pulls herself together and tries to pretend that her world hasn’t just cracked apart. There’s a difference between knowing something is coming and the action occuring.

“Yes, I’d like some ramen.” Kumiko replies. “That sounds like a good idea.”

 

* * *

 

Kumiko takes Shin out to celebrate his college graduation the day after her family’s graduation party. They go to a barely there yakitori joint, where it’s so loud that they both have to shout to be heard and they order outrageous amounts of food and alcohol. Kumiko can’t stop smiling the entire way through dinner _he did it!_ her student—no, Shin—has made it through Tokyo University.

Shin smiles more than Kumiko can ever remember seeing and leans over about every twenty seconds to say something, his hands steadying himself against Kumiko’s arm. He talks about his plans for the future, which Kumiko already knows, but makes her excited for Shin all over again. She can’t help but feel proud at his look of determination even if she’s only played the smallest part in helping him grow.

The trains have already stopped running, so they walk back together to Shin’s apartment, the two of them huddled close. Shin wraps his arm around Kumiko, supporting her, although Kumiko knows quite well that Shin’s the more inebriated of the two. Shin’s quiet but smiling and Kumiko thinks back to the person that he was when she first met him. _He’s finally become a man_ she thinks, and there’s a warmth that spreads throughout her at the thought.

Both Kumiko and Shin are almost sober by the time they get to Shin’s apartment, but Kumiko walks Shin to the door anyways. When they get to the door, Shin stops and smiles softly at Kumiko and she smiles back. Shin meets her eyes for, and then he ducks his head to lean in for a kiss.

Kumiko closes her eyes and lets her hands move down from where they rested on Shin’s arm to curl around Shin’s back.


End file.
